“Even though this year I met the most broken version of myself, I also met the strongest version of myself.”

I have written and rewritten this blog post so many times because I wanted to do this 2024 recap right. I wanted to not only include my struggles but also show you all how amazing our God truly is and what He has brought me through this year. When talking about your own journey, it’s easy to forget that God is the main character of your story. Not you. So, after much time in prayer, I truly believe I’ve found the version of my year that highlights who God is, what He’s done for me, and what He can do for you!

The quote, “Even though this year I met the most broken version of myself, I also met the strongest version of myself” is one I initially heard through TikTok and resonated with for my experiences this year for two reasons: one, I’ve experienced some life-altering medical issues both mentally and physically that pushed me past my own strength and two, I learned that God is the only strength I ever needed!!

God never intended for us to rely on our own strength. He offers us strength if we simply lean on Him!

In January, I had just begun a new job, started taking posting on social media a bit more seriously, and was so excited for the year ahead. It was going to be my year to achieve my goals. Though, God, had other plans for me.

Throughout this year, I’ve faced a lot of health obstacles. Between not knowing what’s wrong with me to being sick constantly, it truly has been a crazy year for someone who’s always been generally healthy. These obstacles include two new forms of mental illness, OCD and AFRID, which ramped up my preexisting anxiety and panic disorders, chronic gastritis, chronic cholecystitis (hyperactive gallbladder to be more specific), and hypoglycemia. I was also faced with a tumor scare that I swear aged me 50 years. I am now extremely malnourished and have to work so hard to get the nutrients I need to function half as well as a healthy person. To say it’s exhausting is an understatement.

To be honest, January 2024 me would be on the floor if she knew all the doctors and testing we would endure. She would also be on the floor if she knew we saw a nutritionist and a therapist. Truly, so much has changed for me this year, but I wouldn’t change it.

I know that sounds crazy, right? I get it. Who would voluntarily want to go through struggles? I’m not saying I would particularly want to experience this specific situation. What I am saying is that I am so proud of the person I have become through this and therefore wouldn’t change it for the world. Without this hard year, I would not be where I am today. I would not be learning empathy, compassion, kindness, self-control, and how to be slow to anger and judgment, and I would not be receiving everything I’ve been praying for since I began this journey with God in 2019.

As many of you know, Galatians 5:22-23 is the first verse that truly put into perspective for me what it was like to live a life that radiates Christ. Since then, I have been praying for God to help me possess and display the Fruit of the Spirit. Be careful what you pray for, because God will answer. I was refined this year in every way possible for God to show me what living for Him is truly about. Was I always obedient? No. Did I always turn to Him in times of trouble? No. But He always walked through my fire with me. Because of that, I am eternally grateful.

As Christians, we know that God doesn’t promise us the journey will be easy. He says in John 16:33, “In the world, you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world.” From this verse we know the quote, “God won’t give us more than we can handle” is inherently false. But, we do know that God won’t ever give us more than He can handle!! It’s through His strength alone that we will be sustained!

I didn’t want this post to only include the struggles I experienced this year. I also wanted to include some of the amazing milestones God blessed me with! This year He allowed me to experience being a youth leader for the first time, I started my book, started my YouTube channel, celebrated one year of my blog, got inducted into my school’s honors society, graduated from my master’s program with honors, and began my Ph.D. in Psychology: Theology. He also gave me the inspiration for 4 tattoos (January me would have died), I created my first bracelet collaboration with Brooke’s Designs Co., made sweet memories with some amazing friends, and was a guest on the Not For Nothing Podcast!! Truly such a beautiful year that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

So though I did meet the most broken version of myself, I also met the strongest version of myself. I found out and am continuing to find out what it means to lean fully on God, and that true strength never comes from our own works. True strength comes from God alone!! I am learning how to release control of circumstances I have no power to change. I am learning what faith truly means. Above all, I am learning that joy is not found in my circumstances but in the Creator Himself! I hope that this is the lesson you can take away from this!!

Last year, my focus word was intention and intentional growth, and I am so blessed to say that is exactly what I’ve done. God quite literally forced me to slow down and focus on being intentional with my time and resources. He used this time to refine me in ways I am so grateful for.  This year, I have chosen to focus on healing. In 2024, I experienced quite a bit both mentally and physically, and because I tried to face a lot of this without God, I have a lot of healing to do with God!

Though I do not know what God has in store for 2025, I do know I am going to focus on healing God’s way both physically and mentally. No matter what 2025 throws at me, I will be able to handle it because I know that God has not only given me the tools and means to walk this fire and not get burnt, but He is in the fire with me!

What will your focus word be for 2025?

Happy New Year, and I am praying for good health, peace, and joy for every single person who reads this!!✨🪩