New Year, Same God

Hi friends!!

I’ve missed writing to you!! Life has been full lately, and while I stepped back for a few weeks, my heart kept nudging me back here, to this space, to you, and honestly… back to God.

So let me start with a confession.

During my break, my Bible time became lazy. Not nonexistent, but surface-level. I was doing enough to say I showed up. Enough to check the box. Enough to convince myself I had “spent time with God,” but I wasn’t actually sitting with God. I wasn’t spending actual time. I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t building a relationship.

When I finally sat down this week to prepare to write again, I really sat down with Him, and I felt conviction. And if I’m being even more honest, that conviction didn’t immediately lead me to repentance or to a sense of closeness. It led me to shame.

I felt like I had let God down.

That feeling made me want to pull back even more. To stay distant. To avoid Him altogether, so I wouldn’t have to sit with the discomfort of what I hadn’t done well. And then I realized, this response, this instinct to retreat, is precisely what so many of us are living in right now.

And that’s when I knew what this week’s blog needed to be about.

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When Conviction Feels Like Distance

When conviction shows up, our first reaction is often to run. To hide. To withdraw. To convince ourselves, we’ll “come back to God” once we’ve cleaned ourselves up.

But this response isn’t new. It’s throughout Scripture.

From the very beginning, when Adam and Eve sinned, their immediate response wasn’t to run to God; it was to hide from Him. Shame always convinces us that distance is safer than honesty.

And yet, conviction was never meant to push us away. Conviction is meant to draw us closer.

That’s why the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 is so important. The son doesn’t just make mistakes; he wastes his inheritance, dishonors his father, and hits rock bottom. When he finally decides to return home, he rehearses a speech filled with shame. He expects rejection. Punishment. Distance.

But Scripture says:

“While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” (Luke 15:20)

The father doesn’t wait for perfection.

He doesn’t demand explanations.

He doesn’t hold the failure over his son’s head.

He runs.

That’s the heart of God toward you. Always has been. Always will be.

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Performative Faith vs. Personal Relationship

If we’re honest, many of us are stuck in performative faith.

Maybe you’re opening your Bible for the Instagram photo, but closing it before it can create real change. Maybe you’ve stopped opening it altogether because you’re afraid conviction will be too uncomfortable. Maybe you’re only reading Scripture so you can pour into others, while your own soul stays undernourished.

I’ve been there.

And here’s the truth we don’t talk about enough: you can be around God and still be distant from Him. You can know Scripture without knowing His voice. You can serve Him without sitting with Him.

God isn’t interested in appearances. He’s after intimacy.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18)

Closeness, not performance, is what He desires.

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Conviction Is Not Condemnation

This is something I want you to sit with for a moment.

Conviction says, “Come closer.”

Condemnation says, “Stay away.”

Conviction is loving. Condemnation is accusing. Conviction invites growth—condemnation fuels shame.

The enemy loves it when we confuse the two, because shame keeps us stuck, silent, and distant from God. But Scripture reminds us:

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)

If something has been moving in your heart lately, that isn’t God pushing you away. That’s Him gently inviting you deeper.

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How to Build a Real Relationship with God (Not a Checklist)

If you’ve been feeling far from God, here are a few gentle, practical ways to begin rebuilding, not perfectly, but honestly.

1. Show up as you are.

No rehearsed prayers. No spiritual performance. Say what’s real. God can handle your honesty far better than your pretending.

2. Sit before you study.

Before reading Scripture, pause. Breathe. Invite Him into the space. Relationship always comes before revelation.

3. Read less and linger more.

One verse with God is better than ten chapters without Him. Ask, What does this show me about Your heart?

4. Let conviction lead you closer, not further away.

If something convicts you, don’t run. Stay. That’s where healing happens.

5. Remember His posture toward you.

He isn’t waiting with crossed arms. He’s watching the road, ready to run toward you the moment you turn back.

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A Final Encouragement

Friend, if you’ve been feeling distant from God, let me remind you of something you may have forgotten:

He hasn’t moved.

Every step toward Him is met with grace.

Every honest moment is welcomed.

Every return is celebrated.

You’re not behind.

You’re not failing.

You’re not disappointing God.

You’re being invited deeper.

And that invitation still stands today, right where you are 🤍