A note to the girl left walking behind the group

I know I’m writing a book on this exact topic, but I felt led to write this for you, so I know someone out there needs to hear this today!

I’ve been you—so many times. We’re the “friend” people courtesy invite or don’t invite at all. We’re the ones who, if we stopped to tie our shoes, our group would leave us. We’re the ones who had to make all the plans and hope someone cared enough to come. We’re the ones left out of weddings, birthdays, etc., the ones who go out of our way for people who don’t do the same for us. We’re the ones left walking behind the group or in the grass. You aren't alone if you grew up experiencing any of these situations. I’ll be the first to say this was and sometimes still is me.

I prayed constantly that God would send me that community I was craving. One where I don’t have to beg for friendship, be invited, be included, etc. The great thing about God is that He puts us in these situations for a reason. For me, it was to stop seeking validation from people and start seeking it from Him. What is God speaking to you as you read this? In my prayer, I was led to Galatians 1:10, which says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ"

We may not realize it, but our constant need for others to like us and want us around comes from a posture of people-pleasing. We change who we are to fit into these groups in hopes they like us and want to include us. I have found that the most genuine friendships I’ve been able to make are those where I am not afraid to mess up or get “booted” from a friend group.

Though in most of my life (elementary-high school and somewhat into college), I was often trying so hard to fit in somewhere, I never realized that I didn’t exactly fit in because God didn’t place those people in my life or in a position to remain for His greater purpose for my life. Instead, it taught me to lean on God and not to rely on the people of this world. When we begin to lean on Him, we gain some of the most amazing, spirit-filled, loving friendships and relationships all in His perfect timing!

It still hurts to see major life events like birthdays, get-togethers, weddings, etc., from people I held so dearly in my heart through social media posts. I won’t pretend it doesn’t or that it’s easy to move past. But I am so thankful that God only allows people in my life who will lift me up, take me as I am, hold me accountable, and work to build their relationship with God with me!

I am eternally grateful to have been the girl left walking behind the group.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ"

Galatians 1:10