Heal your Hurt

Friends, I have something I need to confess to you. I’ve been struggling to attend church in person. I’m

nervous to confess this for several reasons, but mainly because I don’t want to bring others down or open old wounds that simply don’t need to be opened. But this week, I know God is calling me to speak on it.

For a while, I thought watching online would be enough to fill me. But it hasn’t. It’s not that I didn’t want to be there; it’s that the enemy was trying to win. He had convinced me that, due to hurt and my own feelings of failure, I didn’t belong in ministry or even in a church building. I believed the lie that there would never be another congregation I could walk into.

But last week, the enemy did not win. On Wednesday night, after being lovingly encouraged and invited by a friend, I stepped back into church in person, and for the first time in a long time, I felt at peace. I felt reminded of what I had been missing—connection, worship, and the beauty of God’s people together.

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The Weight of Church Hurt

Let’s be honest: church hurt is a real thing. And it cuts deep. For some, it’s a wound from betrayal or judgment by fellow believers. For others, it’s the grief of being overlooked, misunderstood, or even spiritually abused. For many, it’s tied to disappointment in leadership or the pain of seeing a church fall apart.

When that kind of hurt happens, it can feel like stepping into another church building will only lead to more pain. We begin to associate “church” with rejection instead of refuge. We protect ourselves by staying away, convincing ourselves it’s easier not to risk being hurt again.

But isolation isn’t healing. It often becomes a place where the enemy feeds us lies: “You don’t belong. You’ll only get hurt again. Church doesn’t matter.” Yet God, in His kindness, reminds us that healing happens in community.

If you’ve been struggling to get back into church, this is written with love and deep understanding, for you.

I’ve written before about why church is important, but today I want to focus on the how with practical and gentle steps to help you return, even when it feels overwhelming.

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God Heals in Community

When Elijah fled to the wilderness after feeling abandoned, attacked, and utterly worn down (1 Kings 19:9–18), he told God he was done. He felt alone, betrayed, and hopeless. But God met him in his pain, first with rest, food, and care, and then with a gentle whisper. Even more, God reminded Elijah that he wasn’t alone after all. There were thousands who still belonged to Him.

Elijah’s story shows us two things: God meets us in our hurt, and He also places us in community so we don’t walk alone.

The New Testament echoes this truth over and over:

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.”Hebrews 10:24–25

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2

“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”

1 Corinthians 12:27

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How to Step Back Into Church After Hurt

1. Name the Hurt

Don’t minimize or dismiss it. Whether it was betrayal, burnout, or unmet expectations, acknowledging the pain is the first step toward healing. Healing can’t come from pretending everything is fine. Bring your hurt before God and, if possible, process it with a trusted mentor, counselor, or friend.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Heal

It’s okay if you can’t jump back in right away. Healing takes time. Allow God to tend to your wounds before rushing back into serving or leading. Think of it as spiritual rehab. You’re strengthening your heart so you can stand again.

3. Redefine Church as Community, Not a Building

Church hurt often distorts our perception of the church. However, Scripture reminds us that the church is comprised of the people of God, not just the structure or leadership. Look for safe spaces where genuine community and accountability can grow, whether that’s a small group, a Bible study, or a new congregation.

4. Start Small and Build Trust Slowly

If walking into a Sunday service feels overwhelming, start smaller. Attend a midweek group, go with a friend, or sit quietly in the back. Healing doesn’t require rushing; it requires consistency.

5. Invite God Into the Fear of “What If”

Fear often whispers, “What if it happens again?” Instead of letting fear lead, pray honestly: “Lord, give me wisdom. Lead me to a healthy church. Guard my heart, and teach me to trust again.” God doesn’t ignore our fears; He transforms them.

6. Remember Grace for Yourself and Others

Churches are made up of broken people, which means hurt may happen again. But grace doesn’t mean tolerating abuse; it means letting God’s love cover imperfect people while still using discernment about where you worship.

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Friend, if you’ve been hurt by the church, please know, you are not alone, and you are not forgotten.God cares about your wounds, and He longs to restore you. The enemy wants you isolated, but God wants you surrounded. You were created for community. And when you take even the smallest step back into it, you’re not just going back to church, you’re stepping back into the life God designed for you.