“That wasn’t Jesus, that was people.”

I recently got a DM from someone who had previously left the Christian faith because of the way they experienced a church environment and wanted to know if it was worth it to try again. As you can probably guess, I responded with, “Absolutely!” I won’t divulge this person’s entire story, but essentially they experienced “church hurt.” This is a term many of us use when explaining why we chose to no longer follow Jesus. The Biblical Counseling Coalition states that church hurt is “the painful experiences of being exploited in the context of a collective local church, where spiritual language or even Scripture may be leveraged to justify wrongdoing and protect offenders.” If you relate to this…keep reading!!

First, I wanted to start by apologizing to you for the way you were treated in a place where you came for love and repentance. Church hurt comes in many forms. I don’t know your exact situation, but I do know your feelings are so valid in this. I had been researching a little on this topic and found this quote I wanted to share, “Church hurt is the worst kind of hurt. It’s like getting stabbed in the back while the person holding the knife is looking directly into your eyes. When the very people and institutions that should protect us betray us, we are often left in a rubble of disappointment, disillusionment, and despair.”

Church hurt is the worst because it often follows with “…and this is why I will never try Christianity again.” This is so sad because God never wants you to turn from Him because of this. That wasn’t Jesus, that was people. Imperfect people cannot be the way you look at Jesus. They are not Jesus. They have free will and therefore sometimes act in a way that isn’t “Christ-like.” Here’s the thing…even church leaders are not perfect. We attend a church in hopes they will be close, but they aren’t. If we place our faith and love of Christ in people, we will ALWAYS be disappointed.

As I was studying and reading His word to find an example of this, I literally passed up the MOST OBVIOUS…Paul. Paul is the author of all those letters to the churches in the Bible. Paul basically called out everything they did that was against what Jesus preached to plant the seed of transformation. Not to hurt them, but ultimately to love them. He did this because he walked with Jesus, he knew Jesus, and he loved Jesus enough to law down his life for Him. He was lost and Jesus found him. Something we often forget about Paul is that he also experienced church hurt.

In 1 Thessalonians 2:1-2, we get a glimpse of Paul’s hurt. For background, Paul and Silas had traveled to Philippi to preach God’s word. This was after Jesus’ death, so things were definitely harder for them. As they were ministering they came across a slave girl and commanded a demon out of her. The owners were not happy about that and took them to court where they were beaten and imprisoned. These were people who knew Jesus and His teachings. Yet, they still did not act in the way Jesus called them to. 1 Thessalonians 2:1-2 is a way that Paul uses his own struggles to encourage the people to press on! He states, “Yet our God gave us the courage to declare his Good News to you boldly, in spite of great opposition.” Paul didn’t let the opposition and negativity of people stop Him from pursuing Christ!

Often, when we experience church hurt we put a lot of the blame on God…. “God, if you placed those people in my life why would you let them hurt me?” “God, why allow people in positions of power in your house if you know they’re doing wrong?” We don’t know why things happen the way they do, but we do know it’s all a part of God’s plan. If those people need to be removed from their positions, I promise, God will remove them at the right time. Don’t blame God for the actions of people.

I don’t know why you experienced the church hurt you did or what kind of hurt you experienced, but I do know the hurt you felt was not Jesus. That was people. Imperfect people. Here’s the thing…absolutely no one is perfect and absolutely no church is perfect. The one that hurt you probably experienced it themselves at some point. Please don’t let that be the reason you walk away from God.

If you’ve been feeling God pulling you to try Church again…please do!! There are so many churches out there and I know that God will bring you to the one you need the most. Not all churches are the same. Not all people are the same. But God is forever the same. He has not abandoned you. He has not forgotten you.

Whatever hurt you experienced by the church; that wasn’t Jesus, that was people. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. HE IS GOOD! Come home to Him. Find rest in Him. Find your community again.

“Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.’”

Lamentations 3:22-24