We Need to Normalize Asking, “What Have You Been Struggling With Lately?”

One thing I think we seriously need to normalize is asking our friends, “What have you been struggling with lately?”

The reality is, we’re all struggling with something. Whether that’s our mental health, work, school, relationships, or personal lives, everyone is dealing with something heavy. Most of the time, though, we don’t talk about it because we don’t know how to bring it up or we don’t want to feel like a burden.

So instead, we sit with it. Alone.

We pray. We try to talk to God about it. But sometimes our minds are so loud that we feel like we can’t even hear Him clearly. And whether we want to admit it or not, so many of us are secretly wishing someone would just ask:

“What’s been going on?”

“How can I pray for you?”

“Are you really okay?”

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The Power of Feeling Seen

Sometimes one question can make someone feel seen again.

Not fixed.

Not judged.

Just seen.

In a world where everyone is busy trying to hold themselves together, genuine care stands out. We often underestimate how healing it can be when someone creates a safe space for us to open up.

The Bible reminds us over and over again that we were never meant to walk through life alone.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2

God designed us for community, not isolation. He knew there would be seasons where we would need people to pray for us when we didn’t have the strength or words ourselves.

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Elijah: A Biblical Example of Mental Exhaustion

I know I talk about him a lot, but one of the most relatable examples of emotional exhaustion in the Bible is Elijah in 1 Kings 19.

After witnessing all these incredible miracles from God, Elijah became overwhelmed, afraid, and mentally exhausted. He isolated himself and cried out to God because he felt completely done.

God did not shame Elijah for struggling. Instead, God cared for him.

He gave him rest.

He provided food.

He spoke to him.

God reminded Elijah of something incredibly important: He was not alone.

Elijah believed he was the only one left fighting and struggling, but God revealed that there were still thousands standing with Him.

Isn’t that exactly what anxiety, depression, burnout, and loneliness try to convince us of? That we’re alone. That nobody understands. That nobody else is struggling like we are.

But the truth is, so many people around us are fighting battles we know nothing about.

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Why We Need More Honest Conversations

That’s why checking in on people matters so much. Not just with a quick “How are you?” that we automatically answer with “good,” but with real and intentional questions.

Questions that make people feel safe enough to take their mask off for a minute.

The Bible says:

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

James 5:16

There is healing in honesty.

There is healing in prayer.

There is healing in being known.

We do not always need perfect advice or words. Sometimes the most Christ-like thing we can do is simply sit with someone in their pain and remind them they do not have to do it alone.

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Life Lessons We Can Apply

So, what do we do with this information? We apply it! We take action! We stop allowing the enemy to silence us and start speaking love and life into and with our friends. This looks like:

1. Asking deeper questions

Don’t wait for people to bring up their struggles first. Be intentional.

2. Normalize honesty

Friendships should be safe places for real and true conversations, not to put on an act.

3. Pray specifically for people

Instead of saying “I’ll pray for you,” ask what they actually need prayer for and pray right then.

4. Stop believing you are a burden

Needing support does not make you weak. God works through your people.

5. Listen more than you speak

You do not have to fix someone to love them well.

6. Remember that community is biblical

Healing happens when we let others to walk alongside us.

7. Be the safe person you wish you had

Sometimes the kindness you needed most is the kindness someone else is praying for.

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You never truly know what someone is hiding behind their smile, productivity, humor, or silence. One question could open the door for someone to finally feel heard, supported, and prayed for.

So maybe we should start asking more often:

“What have you been struggling with lately?”